The Ancient; 4th of July Special

Edward stirred slightly when he thought he heard someone speak. He had been asleep, further from the fire now that the weather had warmed up. He rolled over and opened his eyes. It was still dark out, but he could make out the silhouette of Pe-bo standing over him.
“What?” Edward groaned.
“Happy 4th, Jim,” Pe-bo said again.
“I’m not-” Edward grumbled and sat up. He rubbed his left eye, then his right. “You’re doing that on purpose now, aren’t you?” He lowered his hand and looked at Pe-bo; his grin suggested he did, indeed, forget his name intentionally.
“Yes,” Pe-bo said as he lowered himself to sit in front of Edward. “I made this for you.” Pe-bo pulled a brown, paper tube from his cloak. It was about 8 inches long and looked to be stuffed.
“Is that- is that a cigar?” Edward asked.
“Yep. I made it just for you, to celebrate the 4th.” Pe-bo smiled and held the cigar out for Edward to take. He took it, examining it curiously.
“What- how do you know about the 4th? Is it actually the 4th of July?” Edward asked.
“I don’t know how to convert your old, mystic time tracking into our modern, alienistic ways. But the documentary implied it was during the hot time.” Pe-bo shrugged.
“The documentary?” Edward asked.
“Yes. The film found in the computer systems, documenting the celebration of your planet’s independence. When your people, led by the courageous Wil Smith and the genius, Jeff Goldblum, flew into space and destroyed the alien invaders.” Pe-bo said.
Edward stared at the tall, speckle faced man for several seconds, trying to decide if he was being serious.
“Are you serious?” Edward asked.
Pe-bo raised a brow at him. He didn’t grin to imply he was goofing with him, but rather had an expression of curiosity and not understanding.
“Yes,” Pe-bo replied. “It is a truly heroic history your people have. To put your differences aside to fight a common enemy, while outmatched in every way. The enemy was faster, stronger, and smarter, but your people persevered and overcame.”
Edward set the cigar in his lap and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“There is so much wrong with that,” Edward groaned. “You’re thinking of-” Edward stopped, considered, and sighed. “Thank you, Pe-bo.” He resigned himself to not explaining the concept of a movie.
Pe-bo leaned and stretched, grasping a stick poking from the firepit. He pulled it back to offer Edward a light. Edward lifted the cigar to his nose and took a  deep whiff, then immediately jerked his hand away, holding the cigar as far from his face as he could.
“What the hell is in that?” Edward almost yelled.
Pe-bo shrugged at him and moved the fire-stick away.
“I’m not sure what is traditional for your people, but given the size and shape I made some assumptions, and just rolled some dung from the woods,” Pe-bo answered.”
“Oh, geezus!” Edward frowned and threw the cigar into the firepit. Pe-bo gasped.
“Rude!” Pe-bo declared. “May the fat-lady sing for you soon!”

[[Happy 4th of July! This story is totally canon, but takes place a little further into the future of where things are at this time.]]

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